My Story: I Thought I Was Just “Off”…But It Was Perimenopause
- Dr. Tamarah Chaddah, ND
- Mar 30
- 5 min read
By: Dr. Tamarah Chaddah, ND, MSCP (f. NAMS) | Menopause Practitioner
Follow me on socials @drchaddahnd
I Thought I Was Just “Off”… But It Was Perimenopause
My personal story...and why your experience is valid, too.
I always come back to this when I speak with patients: the more we share our stories, the less alone we feel. And when it comes to perimenopause, that connection matters deeply.
Because for many, this transition doesn’t arrive with a clear announcement. It whispers at first. It blends into the background of busy lives, stress, and responsibility.
That’s exactly how it started for me.
So, let's talk about it.
Disclaimer:
This content is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, naturopathic doctor, or other qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition or health concern. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read here.
It Began as a Subtle Shift I Didn't Even Notice
Looking back, I can see the first signs appeared around age 39.
At the time, I didn’t think much of it. My cycle changed, but not dramatically enough to set off alarms. I wasn’t tracking closely, and if things shifted by a week or two, it felt easy to dismiss.
It was also during the COVID era. Like so many, my attention was elsewhere. At one point, I even wondered if the vaccine was affecting my cycle, something many women were questioning at the time.
But what I now recognize clearly is this:
I was going months without a cycle… then having one… then skipping again.
That pattern is actually much more consistent with late perimenopause.
At the time, though, I had reasons and what felt like valid reasons:
High stress
Personal loss
A season of overwhelm
So I brushed it aside.
The Vision I Had for 40… and What Actually Happened
That same year, I was turning 40. And I had a plan.
I was going to be fit, forty, and fabulous.
I said it out loud.
I believed it.
But my body had other plans.
Instead of feeling energized and strong, I found myself:
Irritable and anxious
Overwhelmed by things that normally wouldn’t phase me
Exhausted from waking multiple times a night
My motivation to exercise disappeared. My mood felt unpredictable. And physically, things were shifting in ways I didn’t recognize.
Despite doing more, being more mindful, trying harder, I was gaining weight.
And it felt different:
Persistent bloating
Weight accumulating around my midsection
Clothes fitting tighter in unfamiliar ways
Then, two weeks before my 40th birthday, I tore a tendon in my knee.
So instead of stepping into that milestone feeling strong and confident…I walked in with a cane.
Definitely 40. Not exactly fabulous.
The Catalyst Of Change
That moment forced me to pause.
I knew something deeper was going on. So I did what I now guide my patients to do, I sought support. I pursued testing. I started treatment.
And only then could I look back with clarity:
I wasn’t just “off.” I was deep in perimenopause.
So when I tell my patients I understand, it’s not theoretical. I’ve lived it.
What I Hear Every Day in Practice
There’s a sentence I hear almost daily:
“I’m gaining weight… and I can’t lose it like I used to.”
Nothing significant has changed. The same habits, the same routines, but completely different results.
And the weight? It often settles in the midsection, in a way that feels unfamiliar and frustrating.
If this sounds like you, I want you to hear this clearly: You are not imagining it.
What’s Actually Happening in Your Body During Perimenopause
Weight changes in midlife are incredibly common—and they’re not caused by a lack of discipline or willpower.
They’re driven by a combination of hormonal, biological, and lifestyle shifts.
Hormonal Changes
As estrogen declines, fat distribution changes. The body begins to store more weight around the abdomen rather than the hips and thighs.
This isn’t just about appearance, abdominal (visceral) fat is metabolically active and linked to increased cardiovascular risk.
Biological Changes
Muscle mass naturally declines with age starting as early as our 30s.
Less muscle means:
A slower metabolism
Fewer calories burned at rest
Even if nothing else changes, your body is working differently behind the scenes.
Lifestyle Changes
Midlife is full.
More responsibilities.
Less time.
More stress.
Often less movement.
Layer in:
Disrupted sleep
Mood changes
Persistent fatigue
…and it becomes much harder to maintain weight, let alone lose it.
Why Perimenopause Can Feel So Frustrating
Because on the surface, nothing seems different.
You’re eating similarly.
Living similarly.
Trying. Often harder than before.
But metabolic changes don’t announce themselves. They happen quietly, gradually—until one day, you feel the impact.
A New Way Forward Through Menopause
This is the part I wish more women were told earlier:
What worked before may not work now and that’s not a failure. It’s a signal to adapt.
Instead of pushing harder, we need a more strategic, supportive approach.
Here's What You Can Do:
1. Understand Your Metabolism
We start by getting clear on what your body actually needs:
How much energy you’re using
How that compares to what you’re eating
From there, we adjust—not drastically, but intentionally.
2. Prioritize Strength Training
This is foundational.
Resistance training helps:
Preserve and build muscle
Support metabolism
Improve overall resilience
And yes—women can build strength at any age. The key is consistency and gradual progression.
3. Address How You Feel
If you feel exhausted, overwhelmed, or unwell, consistency becomes nearly impossible.
Sleep, mood, hot flashes—these are not “side issues.” They matter.
Whether through lifestyle support, targeted supplementation, or hormone therapy when appropriate:
When you feel better, you do better.
The Bottom Line When It Comes To Perimenopause
Weight changes in perimenopause are not about willpower.
They’re about understanding your body in a new phase and responding with more support, not more pressure.
This transition can feel confusing and, at times, discouraging.
But it’s also an opportunity to reconnect with your body in a more informed, compassionate way.
You are not alone in this. And with the right approach, it is absolutely possible to feel strong, supported, and well again.
A Personal Note to You
If you’re reading this and recognizing pieces of your own story in mine, I want you to pause for a moment and take that in.
This phase of life is not a sign that your body is failing you. It’s a sign that your body is changing and asking for a different kind of care.
For a long time, I believed that if I just tried harder, pushed more, stayed more disciplined… I could get back to where I was.
But the real shift, the one that changed everything, was when I stopped fighting my body and started listening to it.
That’s what I want for you.
Not more pressure.
Not more guilt.
Not another plan that makes you feel like you’re falling short.
But a new relationship with your body built on:
Awareness
Strategy
Compassion
Because you are not “doing it wrong.” You are navigating a completely different physiological landscape than you were 10 or 20 years ago.
And with the right support, you don’t just get through this phase… You can feel strong in it.
Grounded in it.
Confident in it.
Maybe even—yes—fabulous in it.
Just not in the way you originally imagined.
And maybe… something even better than that.
Personalized Menopause And Perimenopause Support in Ontario
Want to work with someone who's been there?
Dr. Tamarah Chaddah, Naturopathic Doctor, currently sees patients inside Women 360 Care in Aurora, Ontario, Canada. She offers in-person menopause and perimenopause care in Aurora, Toronto and York Region, with virtual naturopathic appointments available across Ontario.
You can book a visit with Dr. Chaddah, ND using the button below.
Follow me on socials @drchaddahnd
